Dear Future Husband: Before I'm With You

Dear Future Husband,

I just wanted to let you know that my life is not going to "start" once I marry you.

My life has already begun, and I want to take advantage of every second of it.

I can't wait to be with you, but until then, I am going to make memories so that one day, I'll be able to tell you stories. I'm going to travel, work hard, go on adventures, and make the most of every minute of my life. Because my life has already started.

I do not need you to have a good time. I do not need you to feel complete. I am complete, I am whole, and God has a purpose for my life. His plans for me don't start after I get a husband. They've already started. They're happening now.

When we're finally together, we'll go to Europe together, or maybe Mexico, or maybe anywhere. I've always found going alone to be a bit boring. I can't wait to have hobbies with you. Dumb hobbies. Like playing parcheesi or yard sale shopping on the weekends. Or putting together a puzzle. I'd even but together a puzzle with you. How dumb is that?

So someday we will be together, having fun and traveling and playing parcheesi.

But until then, I'll be having fun.

And I hope you are, too.

Because on the nights when it storms or when I can't sleep, I want you to tell me stories. And if you are waiting to live until we get married, how will you have any stories to tell me?

I've been thinking about you today. Someday I'll tell you stories of all of my adventures. Like when there was a moose in my front yard. Or when I was lost for hours during my first camping trip. Or when I parasailed through the Nepali mountains.

God has great plans for your life now; He has great plans for my life now. And He has plans for us together. Glorify Him now with your own life, so that later, we can glorify Him together.

Love,
Jessica

Here's to 2015.

During a Thanksgiving celebration, we all went around saying what we were thankful for. Mine was easy. I am thankful for how much can change in a year.

2014 was a huge year of growing into the woman that I've always wanted to be. I grew in my confidence, in my faith, in my relationships. I prioritized my life, learning from the past, and looking forward to the future. I have broken, healed, lost, and loved.

I am humbled to say that I still have so much to learn. I still struggle. I still find myself acting selfishly, spending more time focusing on my fleshly desires than on the world around me. I get impatient, I get sad, I get overwhelmed. I am not perfect, nowhere close. I still have so much more growing to do. But looking back on this past year, I am so proud of how far I've come. 

One year ago, I was inspired by Bonnie to name 2014, proclaiming what you expected to get out of the new year. I named 2014 "a year to love and to learn." I learned so much about the world, as I travelled through Asia, and about myself, as I looked at myself and what I needed to change. I even got a tattoo, a triangle, to represent my ongoing desire to change into a better person every day.

This year I am going to name 2015 "a year to become myself." All last year, I was surrounded by inspiring people who showed me what women and men of God are supposed to look like. I got rid of everything holding me back and discovered who I want to be. This upcoming year, I want to become that person. I want to become a wonderful friend, an inspiring woman of God. That is my prayer and my goal for this year. 

2014 was by far my favorite year - a year I messed up, a year I tried again, a year I traveled, the year I found myself, the year I found love.

And here's to 2015. I have so much to look forward to - graduation, more traveling, new experiences, more growing. 

Some highlights of 2014..